my Sims are gay!

I started playing Sims again when I bored out of hell with my shop-scene. As you probably already guessed, I created a male avatar in my description and named him Obie Gaylicious (in the hope of I can make him as gay as I am now). He lived in 88 Gaystreet, Bayview. An eclectic house designs, with colors everywhere. Reds and indigos majorly, but also yellow and green attached here and there.

Evidently, it’s true that you can make your Sims as gay as it seems. As Obie is now like, totally gay.

My Sims now married with another male Sims I made, Darren, and they lived happily together. And seeing their togetherness, it bugged me, really. In all my previous relationships, I have felt that togetherness feeling and, clearly, now all that feelings are rushing back, made me realize that I’ve missed those feelings.

The game turned out to be too real for me. The way they looked at each other, the way they missed each other when the presents of others not in sight, the way they hugged in bed, the way they kissed, kid, everything. Once, when Darren was having his moment in the toilet, Obie was in the kitchen making dinner with Darren’s face and love signs all over his mind. Another time, they were outside, cuddling under the tree and talking about the moon (or so). I’m telling you, the Sims really did that! I didn’t add anything just to spice up this story I’m telling. I really didn’t want to admit this, but I guess I really am the relationship type of guy. No matter how hard I tried not to think about this single life of mine, it kept coming back to my concerns.

Was it because of these failed relationships I had lately, that made me feel rather melancholy? I’ve always placed these thoughts in my head… That it wasn’t supposed to be this hard, being single is not the end of the world, love will come around.

Where’d all that go?

This is the kind of dilemma I could not share to anyone’s around me, also the kind that I would really need help from. But, just the thought of me being too soft having this silly trouble I made, let alone share it to others, had throw me out of line and kept it all to myself. I guess I really am not up to running for ‘drama queen of the year’, huh?

Funny how it has always been me, when I’m feeling blue and gloomy I’ve always felt in peace listening to mellow songs. Just now, I’m listening to this song that really embodied my on and off relationship.

Calling all my senses
I can’t see or taste or feel you anymore
And everyday
I’m calling on my inner strength
To fight for something once worth fighting for

Maybe it’s life in the real world
Maybe it’s all been my fault

What if I go?
What if I leave?
What if I show you how you’re breaking me?

And I know
Whatever I say
I’ll still be thinking

What if I stay?

Back then, I was running with suffocating, heartbreaking relationship yet I couldn’t get out from for the reason of my love for him. I kept on dreaming in believing that us both can work things out, that no matter what we’ll both get through everything, that his love for me was true. I was away from home when I’m with him. And every time I threatened him by packing my clothes after us fighting, he begged me to stay and when I looked in his eyes, I saw sincere apology.

But now,
After 2 months apart,
After I see things clearly,
I won’t be thinking ‘what if I stay?’.

Perhaps ‘Thank god I left!’

Don’t get me wrong; being with him was such fun. And if I’d be given the opportunity to have ‘fun’ with him again, I would. Mamas gotta eat!

Lots of Love!