Edgy hair, people?

I’ve done something with my hair like last week. I thought it would give me a little side of edgy. But sadly, I can’t pull it off! I look like that guy from Sony-Ericsson’s latest TV Commercial with the hair when on the sunset having this reminiscent of a coconut tree (profile look). Please let me visualize my malfunction style to you… my hair is a little bit longer than a spikey one, and I happen to cut all my side hair to baldness. Shortly, picture a pineapple… yes, that’s me! I’m so happy! Ewww!

I asked my sis, how do I look? She didn’t say a thing; she made her you-are-ugly-and-disgusting face. I went downstairs to play with my nephew on my dad’s room. My mum said “what were you thinking?!” and my dad yell “GO OUT!”, he hates my hair so bad he hates me! And when I met a friend, she just said “new haircut? It’s good. Ehehehe…” with guilt all over her face (guilty of lying I suppose). And another friend said “you are sooo not looking hot right now!” and I’m feeling less confident the whole night at Oh La La! (Damn you Robert!)

Families and friends… sometimes they could be your greatest allies but sometimes they’re just your worst enemies. After a couple of days after the ‘chopping’ day. Walking in the mall and becoming the center of all attention has led all my sisters forced me to always wear my hat until it grows. I knew they were sort of pulling their jokes by saying ‘don’t you dare walking near me with your extravagant hair style’, but I’m still feeling a lil’ bit left out (not that they never ask me to go out ever). But they are so right, all attention on me. Once I busted a middle-age lady who’s looking at me til her head turn 180 degrees! (I think she bump her fore head). And the only defense I can pull to my sisters was ‘the point of cutting my hair like it is now was because I’m in need of all the attention right? Just remember that I’m one of those attention-seeker’

I’m not saying that there’s no positive attitude regarding my excessive hairstyle. Like maybe one of my maid said it’s good? (aihh..! can you smell my desperation?) or recently a friend’s giving out ‘compliment’, tho after I forced him the question ‘compliment or criticism?’ hmm.. Maybe just that two! (I really should grow my hair rite?!)

People… IT WILL GROW!

Lots of Love!

4 days substitute

Me n Tanti! hanging out.. aihhh.. dose were the days

24.07.07

Today is the first out of three days I substitute my sister to company her husband in his shop. It’s a pain in the ass. But, as long as I got my ciggy and mac, I’m good to go.

Or so I thought…

There’s pretty much nothing to do here except making receipt and watching the buyer goes by… other than that, I can just wait for my dearest to call on his lunchtime. Ow… Have I told you that I’m committed? ;-)

It’s pretty soon I guess… but it just felt right. So, just last Saturday we met at my favorite meeting point, Hot Station (after a week of voice calls, um… not even a week). And I just realized something… That was my first real-real date! It stroked me like a lighting bolt; I didn’t know what to wear! Never before I didn’t know what to wear! It’s like an old saying: a closet full of clothes and nothing to wear! After 2 hours, I came to my senses and go casual never goes wrong. So I use my sport shirt with black tank top. I looked like just got out of the gym! What was I thinking?! But it didn’t go anywhere wrong. What actually happened was, I charmed him. ;-) And so, he stayed at my place, and you know where it was heading. He came the next day and the day after. Aihh… I knew it was just a cliché behavior of newly committed couples, but it was amazing so what the hell! And tonight, he’s planning on taking me to my favorite dinner, Pizza!

26.07.07

I think it was the pizza that I gain 3 KILOS! Aihhh…! So depressing! At the shop, 3 days down, and one to go! I’m not hoping Saturday I’m still here. Babe is now out of town having his work done. Left my lips to dry ;-) he’ll be back tomorrow tho’, so here I am being patient. Cannot be too selfish to have the whole in him. ☺ The thing I liked about babe is that he’s not promising anything, he’s not full of words, tho once he said that he could tolerate my anger problem. We’ll just see. ;-)

I don't deny the fact I’m in a relationship so soon because I felt lonely. On my defense, I think everyone who got into relationship; they were lonely in the first place (otherwise why would they step into something called ‘we’?). Anyway, it’s nice to have someone who message and call just to ask me how I’m doing… just a simple message shows that he cares… and my babe… delivered it! mwah2! ;-) And again… I’m sure it’s just the new-couples euphoria… Ah, I’m being pessimist.

I Love My Shoes!

It’s true! I have not so many pairs, but I love them all, tho I admitted I have one favorite pair. I don't go out a lot, if all my shoes have feelings, they will sort of having negative sentiment toward my white sneaker. Every time I’m in the mood using shoes (I use sandals mostly, but we’re talkin’ shoes here) I always go for the white sneaker. It looked so good with the gold lining. Sadly it’s a suede! I’m having a hard time maintaining. Even though most of the time it’s killing one toe at a time and in spite of all that dirt that wont come off from the suede, I still uses it.

Recently, one occasion got me thinking… why did I buy all that shoes if I didn’t even having desires wearing it? Hell, I just bought a virgin cowboy boots that never even touch the asphalt.

So, just last week, when a friend asked me to have a ‘hunting’ time at Oh La La, I had to take the boots out for a little ride. Won't be fair for it cause it’s been weeks since the first time I bought it. Still… it killed one toe at a time!

Seems like all my shoes having this harmful thoughts for my toes!

I remember once, 5 years ago, I bought this blue puma for 50% off. And as usual, I picked it for the reason of its look (I never really care if it’s comfy or not as long as it’s fashionable). Turns out, it was the comfiest shoes I have ever had!! I used it all the time. Days and nights, formal or informal, every occasion. As time goes by, the fiber lining started to peel, until finally it’s all stripped. But I still used it. It was 2006 when a friend feels sorry for me and asked me if I wanted him to buy me a shoe. But I have always said to him that I like the shoe and asked him just think of it as a vintage shoe. After a couple of complains from other friends, I thought that was my cue to let it go and retired it. Tho until now, I still keep the shoe.

As I wonder through my old shoes I had, I seldom use them! Even one or two shoes that I never use. I happen top found my gray bulky sneaker, green slim, white/green A, white kappa, black layer, and some others. And just yesterday, for my very first real date, I use an old shoe that used to be one of my favorites, a 78 Converse red/blue. Yes, it was killing me the whole night, but the shoe still was fabulous (was worth it).

Aside from all that I-love-my-shoes, once I ‘Killed’ my lower-leg-high blue Converse. I bought it because it had a very bright blue color and the inside was silver. I’m very much in love with that shoe. But then, they told me there’s no size for me, and they told me to go look in other branches. After couples of malls I went through, still no size for me. I forced the number 42 and bought it. Sure it’s too small, but what the heck! I only used it once to one huge mall and never use it ever since. It HURT so bad, not only it hurt my toes; it started to peel my skin. So I cut the higher length and put it in a box and never open it since 2006.

I still love my shoes even tho they hurt me regularly.

Lots of Love!

Nonetity ~ Part Uno

I wanted to scream out loud… nobody listen. I’m here, I’m alive, I’m moving… nobody notice. So here I am, in this book, seeking pathetically for attention. You don’t know me, but you can think of me as the nerd boy in school people liked to play with. Or weird man next door who you never see walking out but you know he’s there because you always listen him moaning through your bedroom wall. Nobody knows who I am; I’m the living dead for some people. People knew I exist like they knew seat belts exist, they knew it’s there they just don’t give a damn. What’s important to me became unimportant and what’s unimportant became important. I don’t know what I want because I knew what I want always end up in no result.

In a room I’m staying now, they’re dirty. I didn’t have anything to do yet I thought I’m too busy to clean the room. The wall painted in white color yet the room seems dark. A pile of naked pillows at the end of my bed just laying there with no intentions by me to cover it up with cases. A white ladder I made for design-sake is now standing on the other side of the wall, covered thick with dust. And above it, a green mirror hanged on the wall had a red spot, which I made-believed was my own blood. I rest my self on the bed, wishing I’d wake up in far more beautiful world than mine’s now so far.

I’m awake. It’s dark. It’s 04.59… am. A minute before five. Everybody knows it. But the question’s still remain to be answer; am I exist? I knew I lived with my family. I had my parents, my three sisters, my two nephews, my brother in-law, and two maids. They must’ve noticed me. So I come down to find out. It’s dark. Of course it is. I notice my watch point at 05.03 am. I just grab mineral water and back upstairs to my room. I lock it. I notice something’s missing, but I don’t know what it is, and I don’t let it bother me either. I sleep.

If forgot to turn off my daily alarm. It’s eight in the morning. The sun’s coming through my paper-covered window. It’s awfully a bright morning. Then I realize… I didn’t hear any sound whatsoever coming from outside. It’s weird on Thursday morning. It’s just not the usual. Not even that annoying dog that usually barked all morning. I open the lock. I knock my 3rd sister’s, Sheena, door. No answer. She must’ve already gone to work. She works for a local University as Geology teacher. Her students are all on their midterms. And it made busy-weeks for her. Gone early and home late were her daily routine for the last couple of days. My 2nd sister, Danni, I presume already went downstairs for breakfast. She works for my father now that he just wanted to relax and stay home with his grandsons. My father works in bread industry for the last 30 years of his lives and he’s now leaving it to his son and daughter, that made my brother, Tony, and Danni works together as a team. I never thought it will works though, since me and all my sisters was not very close or to be harsh… hate him. But, so far, they went along just fine. I say because they were separated from each other. Bread is very ‘hot’ right now, the demand charts is far passed the line. It’s also creating a hectic on the market. So, when I see Danni’s not in the kitchen having breakfast, I’m not that surprise. I didn't see the maids either. I presume Bie and Nue went to the market to buy some vegetables I told them yesterday. Daisy, my 1st sister, and William, her husband, usually gone to work with Danni in the morning. I never thought they would go that early considering the lazy habit of Daisy. Daisy and her husband opened a new café not far from Danni’s pastries. The café have some potential as I saw it, and both Daisy and William worked so hard to make it possible. I had to give them credit for their willingness to have a life, as I am here willing-less to make my own. It’s 8.21 am. The kids already went for their elementary class. No one’s down stairs, I look at my father and my mother’s room. Seems empty. It’s dark inside. I go out. That dog’s not on his cage. It’s empty. Where’s that dog? I liked him that’s true, but I can’t stand the noises he made. It’s just annoying. Somehow, I’m just glad he’s not here today. There, next to the car, I see a newspaper. I took it. As I wonder my eyes around the neighborhoods…

I drop my jaws…

Dad

He’s the one person who thought that his answer was the only answer there was. And marvelously he still is! Lately, regarding the term of ‘broken karaoke utilities’ and to upgrade some more utilities, he became close friends with Harco Glodok in the city. And looking that I’m at home and do literally nothing, he expect me to company him just in case there’s no parking lot available and ask me to find one while I drop him elegantly in front of the lobby.

Yes, just this afternoon, I company him there (I want to be a good little son for once, or was it, I have something in mind that I wanted from him? Hmm..) Apparently he wanted to add another BMB speaker, but we went home with a Cerwin Vega.

A relationship between him and me was very stiff and still is. There was nothing to talk in the car besides some asshole motorcycle that always got in the way or something that he knows best, his self-proclaimed superior voice. Other than that, we only listen to him singing some Chinese songs recorded in a tape (whenever I had enough, I turn on my mp3).

How can I talk to someone who always thinks his answers is the only that’s right? Whenever I speak my mind, and he disagrees, he called me stupid and continues his mumbling. I can’t tell how many times he called me or other fellows in the house stupid/moron/idiot in a day, maybe more than I said ‘stupid’ in a month! I really tried my ass off to make this relationship between him and me a little more ‘hobble’.

So when we drove off to Glodok this afternoon, and he talked something, I had to gave some feedback that I thought to him was the right one, just so he doesn’t call me stupid. Turned out, it was very tiring when you have to think of the right answer before you talk (although sometimes I know it’s crucial). Since I’m not him (and I never knew his way of thinking), I still got the ‘stupid’ word from him. Not that I blame him tho, I think maybe that word already naturally slipped out from his mouth whenever he heard something he oppose. So, to sum up, him and me, still stiff. Yap!

Ow, last nite, when I wanted to refill my printer, on the way home my nephew, Matthew, decided that he’s not Jacky Chan anymore. And when we asked him why, he said that Jacky Chan is not handsome anymore (like he ever was!). so, he wanted us to called him ‘Manny’. We still don’t know who Manny is, but we do know that to Matthew, Manny is the new character he and his friend Wilhan made. I just hoped that Manny is not his and his friend’s imaginary friend!

The 4th of July already passed, and I still waiting for the result! Apparently they delay the result for some reason I didn't even know. I’m just happy that I called my friend first, so I didn’t have to go there and face the blank result board! They’re just playing with my nerve here! I was informed that the result come out on 6th or 9th July. So till then, don't shock me with other news please!

Lots of Love!