
I have uttered on my late blog that I still maintain friends with my ex-es cause I think (that’s me who’s thinking) it’s ok to become friends with your ex. So, without thinking any further, I just message them as usual, calling up for coffee, asking things I knew they’re the expert, and when they asked me to go out with them having dinner, I said yes. Am I wrong? That’s what friends do right? (at least that’s what I thought)
One of my friend, my ex, whatever, ask me to have some late coffee recently, it was around 9 PM, I have nothing to do anyway, so I said yes. At first I really enjoy it, I share some stories about my recent ‘break ups’ and he told me story about his love-journey with all three men at once. Then he said he’s in some sort of dilemma… I thought it was about that third men who’s apparently liked him so much but he didn’t really have the feelings. So, as Friend, I gave him some advices that’s apparently all his friends already gave (nothing I can do pretty much eh?) but he said that’s not the problem he’s facing right now… at that time, I knew where that was going, but pretending don't know a thing, I just ask him what’s wrong…
As usual, the drama of his life was reminisced! As if I haven’t heard of that enough, he kept on reminiscing the old days of ‘us’ together back then! But, as polite as possible I just nod and drink and nod and smoked… proximately about an hour until he finally reached his point that he still has certain feelings for me and wanted me back! Already knew, but I acted surprised (I did well)
I told him, all this times that we’re (me & him) apart, even though I had ups and downs on some relationship, never once I ever think of getting back together with him. Why? I never told him this, but I still think he’s still immature in someway and still as fake as that LV bag I had. All the words that came out from his mouth, all that stories, it was all devious… and I knew him for one and half year… so I knew that’s his best feature.
He’s in denial and still thinking I would think of getting back together… and then he said what’s with all that messages and phone calls to him if I’m not planning on getting back together… I told him couple of times, that’s not giving hope, that’s just a friend asking one friend about something!
Again, as a friend, I gave him some advices. I have always thought, if someone’s breaking up with you and you’re still in love to that one person, it’s best if you stay away from him as far as possible, never contact and avoid all places that you think you might bump into him… what did that do to me? I still can't sleep at night, blank all the time… so I called my always friend Elena for comfort and of course to share… she said, all I did was wrong and stupid! She said, that I’m just avoiding the inevitable, the problem itself, rather than facing it. So she told me, if I wanted free from this problem, I have to face it. As I quote her, ‘be his friend, at least you can still see him, and you’ll see it yourself that he’s not giving any hope for you’. Make sense actually… if I make friends with him, he’ll tell me stories about his new man, first maybe irritating, but if it goes and goes and goes… that’s when I know I have no hope so I can move on!
So that is exactly what I said to my ex, be friends with me… he’s still saying how everybody else can get their second chance but not him… I’m getting pissed, I told him harshly, all that people he’s illustrated were still have feelings for each other, that’s why they can get back together, but not us…
And so, I thought that him and me cannot be friends anymore, and I told him that. He nodded. Then he asked me not to contact any of his friends, cause if I do, all his friends will sort of ‘report’ to him about me, and that’ll make him sad. But of course! I’m not really close to all his friends anyway…
I guess, I thought wrong, how you can't be friends with your ex who's apparently still have feelings for you! But, for me, even though (IF) I still in have feelings for my ex, I really want to make friends with them, I think I can face the fact… No, I have to face the facts than to refuse it!
Lots of Love!
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